Increase Your Own Influence!

15 juni 2025

“I’ve really tried everything to get my manager to move. But I failed!”
Recognise this? Then read on.

How can you increase your own influence? How can you get more done? How can you make sure the ball rolls your way for once? And how do you do that without losing your self-worth?

This blog delves into that phenomenon.

The Basics

To increase influence, we must go back to being human. After all, you need to know what you want influence over, right?

• Firstly, every individual is utterly selfish. That is necessary to survive. We think of ourselves first. When this is mentioned in the time-management course, most people look surprised at first. Then recognition. Then acceptance.
• Secondly, we are more sensitive to positivity than negativity. Negative associations evoke resistance. Just watch how a child reacts to “no”. And consider how you react when others say “no” to you. Positivity really generates more energy.
• Thirdly, we are more tuned to achieving goals than naming actions. Achieving a goal (endresult) feels like a victory. An action is just a starting point and consumes energy.

Example: you say to your manager: "I am really too busy." Sounds logical, right? But looked at through the lens of how you increase your influence, it’s not logical. It’s an attack (you really want a solution). Essentially you’re saying: “I am too busy, and you must do something about it.” It’s negative. Being “too busy” isn’t pleasant! And finally it’s phrased as an action, not a goal. What do you want to achieve by being less busy?

In short:

• We think about ourselves first.
• We are sensitive to positive energy.
• We prefer thinking in end-goals rather than actions.

With these in mind, look at your own workday. Are the expressions below familiar?

• I’m too busy.
• I really don’t have time for this.
• Sorry, I can’t manage that.
• I really won’t do that.
• You understand that, right?
• That can’t happen today.

And compare these with the basic thoughts above. If you feel you’ve already tried everything — well, then the real work begins …

Confusion

Positive thinking is often confused with “brown-nosing the boss”. Brown-nosing means you see positive expressions as playing a game. In all these cases it’s not a game but the genuine re-framing of something you no longer want into something you do want.

Tips

Below are some clear tips to increase your influence.

1. Reframe what you don’t want into something you do want. A little conscious thought and reframing is really quite easy.
   “I’m too busy” → “I’d like more time.”
   “That can’t happen today” → “From tomorrow onward this can happen every day.”
2. Reframe something you want into a desired outcome. It helps to ask yourself WHY questions. Share this outcome.
   “I’d like more time.” (Why?)
   “So I’ll have more calm.” (Why?)
   “Thus I’ll be much sharper.” (Why?)
   “Thus I’ll do my work even better.” (Desired outcome)
3. Stop worrying about things over which you have no influence. That leaves more energy for other matters. Something only becomes a problem when there’s a solution, right?
4. Most influence you have is over yourself. So always ask yourself: What could I have done differently in this situation?
5. Stop making assumptions! My manager knows I’m busy, right? Maybe yes, maybe no. You have no control over that, so ask.
6. Start with the goal in mind. Eighty percent of all projects fail because we begin well but don’t have a concrete end-goal. Ask yourself always: What do I want to achieve with this?

Conclusion

You have the most influence over yourself. From this vantage you can increase your influence. That doesn’t mean you must take the blame for the situation. However, if you want a solution, then it’s your own challenge to make it happen. Don’t see it as a game — see it as a challenge.

For inspiration: read the book by Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits) — it outlines in several steps how to increase your own influence.