They wish you more than you think! Do you also wish it for yourself?
16 juni 2025
What a wonderful time the Christmas-and-New Year’s period is. Ending the year, reviewing both business and personal life. Especially when the year has gone well and the results are positive it’s a thoroughly enjoyable activity.
“They wish you more than you think, do you also wish it for yourself?” is the title of my blog this week. A very fitting title, very fitting for the Christmas and New Year’s spirit. The blog is about the struggle many people face in finding time and peace to achieve results that require focus and concentration.
Do you recognize this too? Colleagues who constantly approach you with questions and requests. Colleagues who, in pairs or more, hold extensive discussions near your workspace. And when finally it’s quiet with colleagues, the phone rings. “I hardly get any actual work done! And certainly not the large tasks with which I make a difference.”
In the time-management course the situation above is a source of learning goals such as:
- Daring to say “no” more often.
- Getting more done in a day.
- Better work–life balance, bringing fewer focus-tasks home!
- Better dealing with distractions and interruptions.
I always say: “It’s effective working, but not successful working.” Effective working is about you and what you can do to exercise influence from your circle of influence. Success is the result of your effectiveness. Success tastes good. It’s the “sugar”, the sweet thing you sometimes need.
Proactive
Funny and striking is that many people who struggle with this challenge almost always immediately proclaim their own goals: “There is nothing to be done about this in our company.” The chances of you being right when you feel this way are 100%. The start always lies with you. What is your wish? What do you want? And even more: do you really believe you want it? Mantra of effective working: I choose, I decide, I have the control! Always! #soeffective
Begin with your goal in mind
Actually it should be: Begin with your goals 100 % clear in mind. To the question “What is your wish, what do you want?” we often hear in the time-management course: “A little more time for myself, a little less being disturbed, just sometimes finishing my work without colleagues bursting in.”
Almost everything stands or falls with the right mindset. Everything that is made is first created twice. A house is first imagined and drawn, and only then built. This principle also applies to your work and your projects. First clear goals and clear boundaries are set in a plan, and only then realization.
In the book Dream Dare Do, the author states that a sincere intention (for example, a little more time for myself) increases the chance of success by 2.5 times. If you go for a MAP goal (Measurable, Active and Personal), then the chance is 12 times greater. That’s when the energy is released that gives you the right direction.
Tip: Choose a MAP-goal, or a 100 % clear, concrete and specific goal.
Examples:
I want per day 90 minutes for concentration work without interruptions.
I choose every evening a top 3 of tasks that I will carry out the next day.
A vital intermediate step deserves attention because this step is essential for reaching the finish line, for tasting the sweet. Between thinking, drawing, calculating and doing you sometimes ask yourself: Do we still believe in it? Are we still committed? Do we still feel like it? You might take the old management formula “Effect = quality of the solution × acceptance” off the shelf and adapt it: “Effect = 100 % clarity of goal × own belief”.
If you have your goal 100 % clear but your belief is zero? Then the effect will be zero and you will not succeed in reaching the shot of sugar.
Tip: Choose your goal smaller until you truly believe in it!
I want per week 3 days 90 minutes of concentration work without interruptions.
I choose every evening a top 2 of tasks that I’ll realize the next day.
Mantra: first 100 % clarity of goal, then 100 % acceptance of goal, then 100 % focus on goal.
They wish you more than you think
By “they” I mean your customers, clients and colleagues. And of course also those colleagues who pop in now and then requesting urgent tasks and making a lot of noise just when you are working quietly. Especially now you have your goal 100 % clear in mind, it's easier to arrange support. You just need to ask! Yet in practice that sometimes proves difficult.
Vinegar in a wine glass
What I often notice is: people with the right intention take the wrong turn in their approach. Once the goal is clear and they have solid belief, they begin. Some start the day with a small glass of vinegar. The very first colleague who asks a question gets the reaction “No, not now! I notice you regularly ask questions you know the answer to and that costs me too much time and that makes me uneasy.” Recognize that? A wonderful piece of feedback. You have passed the goal “Dare to say no more often”. Congratulations!
Steering before the curve or solving problems when they’re not yet problems
Better than the approach just described, I advise a different approach: the approach of steering before the curve. Steering before the curve and not in the curve. My colleague Martin always says: “Solve problems when they’re not yet a problem”. This is effective and ensures a more joint approach … win-win, yin-yang! The essence: You choose to proactively approach colleagues who regularly disturb you but not “today!” Below I outline a scheme you can use in preparation.
- What is your wish? What do you really want to achieve?
- Which first steps would you like to choose?
- What does it yield for you?
- What does the result yield for the other? (shared interest)
- What does it yield for you both together?
- What still holds you back from looking at it together?
A real-life example from last week
I would like 90 minutes per day to work on concentration tasks without being disturbed.
I am going to ask Tineke, Herman and Miloslaf if they will grant me this and help me with it.
It yields for me that I prepare the performance reviews better and conduct them with more connection and process the outcomes. More control, overview and peace.
The beautiful thing for you is that I also give more attention to the wishes you and others express. If you would grant me to work quietly from 9 : 00 to 10 : 30 every morning?
I will feel better, we will work more equally together and your confidence in your own choices will grow. The atmosphere will become better and the results will improve. Twice a day we’ll briefly go over the day together.
Nothing like “I’m going to do this”.
I believe in it. Yes, I believe in it and of course my colleagues wish me this. And I wish it for myself.
Have a wonderful holiday season and an amazing 2026 ! More than ever I wish for peace on our Earth and peace in our hearts.
